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Jun. 6th, 2007 | 12:41 am
mood: depresseddepressed
music: beating heart baby - head automatica

There's so much I want to say, yet I lack the words to say it.
I'm not sure where to even begin, or even if I want to begin saying it. Because to say it reveals so much, to say it would allow every defense I have to be taken down...gone just like that.

We had to do this tihng in class the other day, a culture thing. Listing common traits we share with friends / family / co workers etc.
And I couldnt do it, because I share no common trait with any of those I care about.
I'd rather stay home, listen to music, play computer games and / or do some web coding than go out and get drunk.
I'd rather hang around and be a complete dork than be "cool". I'd rather discuss music, movies, philosophy or anything other than sex, alcohol and my "experiances".

I'm incline to get overly excited everytime I find a new band. Or learn a new computer thing. And most of the time if feels as though no one else here really cares, they're like ..."oh that's nice....why do you talk about music so much" me "well..uh..I ju" them"OMG YOU TOTALLY FUKED HIM...sorry what were you saying?" me "oh never mind" *looks at the ground*. 

idk sometimes so many words build up inside, to say them would probably cause alot of problems.
There's alot of things I want to tell people, but it'll change the entire way things exist. So I don't both.

I feel discontent and disconected, I feel odd.

So many things I think you wouldnt understand.


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from: mixed_nutcase
date: Jun. 6th, 2007 09:45 pm (UTC)

share no common trait with any of those I care about.

you share blood and genetics, and a mother, and a father with Hannah and Faith....so you DO share common things :)

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